It's all about the life of Bekka!

Being a good mother is always on my mind. I want to be the best mother but realty set in and shows me its hard because I have to work full time, I have cook, I have to clean and damn I’m so tired. But when I see her smile and laugh it makes realty go away and just give her everything I can in the best way I can. I come home and know I have TONS to do and should be doing that but when I see her in her gate area I just jump in and start playing with her; acting all silly with her just to hear her laugh. And I love just watching her climb all over me and take the toys from me like she is telling me “sorry mom I rule this world” lol it funny how whatever beat comes up, from the TV or the toys, she will start dancing and squish her face together with her smile. She loves to walk to me because she knows ill catch her and say YAY while I tickle her belly! I guess at the end I am being a good mother putting her first before anything else. Enjoying every moment with her.

Ok ok I’m what you call a “BAD BLOGGER” lol but I have reasons why… I had been going through a lot. Gosh were do I start well for the past months I haven’t been feeling like myself and I went to the female doctor and they told me its normal after having a baby but it has got to a point that I cant do nothing because I have no energy and I’m so down. So I had ENOUGH I want to be happy, I want to live a life without being down or so tired. I went to a whole food place and spoke to a nutritionist that gave me some good vitamins that I can already feel a change in my energy level. Also I made an appointment Monday to see my regular doctor to get a physical done and I spoke to the doctor about EVERYTHING and it turns out I’m under depression, my body is shutting down on me and I should not have waited so long to the doctor. So I did blood work and she told me to be on depression pills for two months and then I have to stop to see how I’m doing then. I’m not so crazy about the pills but it is just for a little and if I feel anything wrong after trying them I can get off and they are on a very low dost. I waited for my blood work results and then went to see the nutritionist with it and see what she says about my blood work and the depression pills. She explain the pills in details and told me it would be better to take something natural because she don’t think I have major depression to use pills. I don’t think I’m that depress to start taking pill but if that is what is going to get me back to my normal self then I’ll try the vitamins first and see if things change. I have nothing to be depress about I have a beautiful family, a job, a place to live! I know their other people worst then me. So I need to get my levels back in place and stop beating myself up. (Easier said then done) but its 2010 (oh yea Happy New Year!) and I need to do it for myself and my family! Well beside all that let’s get you up to date on the good things ;-)

Let’s start where I left off Dec 1… Alessandra has been growing like crazy. She has been walking around her gated area like crazy and getting so well with hold on with one hand. Christmas day she decide to walk up to 6 step by herself ;-) it was so great to see her make her first steps to walk to me (well the present I had in my hand but shh she was walking to me lol) you tell her to open her mouth and she does lol umm what else she does… oh she only want to eat our food (not processed) I guess she thinks she is a big girl now lol

Thanksgiving- WAS GREAT! We had thanksgiving at home with the family and this is the second year we have done this and it’s great because everyone helps with the cooking and we all eat together and what made this thanksgiving special was to have Alessandra their eating with us ;-)

Christmas Eve- Every year we go to my hubby’s cousins house (my boss) and we have this huge party with the whole family, we cook a HUGE pig and everyone just has a great time! And Alessandra wasn’t the only one having her first Christmas… her little prima Andrea too and it was great to see the family growing! I can’t wait to see them both running around with Bella and Ben ;-)

Christmas day- WOW that was the best day! Alessandra woke up around 6am like always so with her wake and everyone was up in no time! My mom slept over so it was great to see her there with us! We had breakfast and her great grandparents and Tia Tati and Tio Eddie came too see her open the gifts! We open all the gifts and it was so great too see her enjoy it so much and wait to play with each toy and all the faces she made was too cute! And made her first 6 steps alone! And after all that she took nice nap! After we went to lunch and were joined by Alessandra BFF Sophia and her parents! Came home and cleaned up and relaxed until around 7pm when we went to moms’ house and had our Christmas Day dinner and that always end Christmas Day GREAT!

New Year- Like I always love to do STAY HOME! And that is what we did! Tia Tati and Tio Eddie came over for a nice shrimp dinner and we played games and chilled until the ball dropped. Alessandra went to bed at 10pm and crazily woke up at 11:57pm clapping her hands and so happy! And we counted down with her in our arms. I started crying like a baby as soon as we counted down from 10 ;-( I didn’t want 2009 to leave… 2009 was a great year! But I guess I just have to look forward to the years to come with my family be happy!

Well today started to take my vitamins and I feel changes in a good way I’m happy for that! Because the past few days I been having good night with the family and before I would rather sleep then spend time with them. Well we will see how things go!

Hope to talk to you soon and send you holiday pictures!